Reality about single women
To be a single, a women and living alone in Pakistan mean you have to be equipped with a strong sense of humor and oodles of patience to be able to survive the every day looks of pity mixed with suspicion. Ours can be a cruel society which is just not geared for singleness as many educated, urban working women will tell you.
But the culture broadcast the ‘one big happy family’ pattern loud and clear. There is an unending media blitz in the form of life size signboard and commercials; even TV plays and dramas are selling family. Not content, even your favorite cooking show’s host will tell you how to cook to win over the heart of your family. Week days are still easier as you are in the company of colleagues. But weekend never seem to end for it is a family affair. Sunday is for family brunches. While many women have climbed the greasy pole to success, they feel Pakistani society is still fixated with the concept of family and cannot perceive single men and women living their own lives. You can’t keep servants even you can afford them because with you alone, you cannot trust them around .many women have to ward off advances by men, especially married ones, who believed that since you had it once, you must be missing it. They consider themselves knights in shining armor and believe that their offer of a clandestine affair is exactly what you have been praying for all your life. If you are a single female parent “Life is more difficult dropping kids to and back from school, getting the stationary and ridiculous school requirements, looking after your job and home, not that there is a support system at government level or anything like that. But what is still worse is the looks pity mixed with suspicion that some of these women feel they get. They are curious to know where the the father is, it is always a question mark. They always think that the man must have abandoned you for your bad character or something or you were too headstrong to live with a husband and in-laws. But among all the challenges, the most difficult is finding a good and safe and affordable accommodation where you will not be ostracized or stigmatized for being single. Some landlords simply do not want single women in the building. Single women have to be very careful about inviting male. In addition to financial support and education is the power full weapon for the single women. But in fact who have experienced life abroad and don’t really think there is an issue will being single or living on your own.
By Shamim bokhari (204/10)
