Reasons of Late Marriages Especially in Pakistan
Marriage has been an important institution of human society. Man cannot survive in isolation without a partner and wishes to be lasting after leaving the world. So, personal human life has to pass through certain phases and marriage is one of them. Different cultures take and deal this phase in different ways. There have been certainly many examples of the individuals who live their lives on the set pattern. I mean to say, they come in the world, grow, get educated, complete their adolescence age and on getting mature; they get married. But surely there is plethora of those in every country who deviates from the scale and remain all alone till they are buried.
In old days it was more than a custom that girls and boys were married at very early age. Parents kept waiting for their daughters to get 14 and boys to start a business; as the moments came; the first priority was marriage in their lives. But now the case is not so. You must have seen people of you grandparents’ age that are unmarried and seek their partner. Every fact has certain reasons behind it. It is not necessary that in every case; late marriage is an individual’s choice and decision. Certainly not; there are many reasons of girls and boys who remain unmarried. Though such cases are found everywhere but here my prime concern is Pakistani men and women who cross their age of marriage and remain bachelors.
Now the notion has proved wrong that girls face more problems when getting married. Men are equally entangled and the same ration of men face the problem of late marriages. The male gender is supposed to be responsible for the running of a home and here in Pakistan; sons are brought up to share the burden of their father. The first reason found in male gender for late marriages is that they earn for the time when the family thinks that he has earned sufficient as to bear the expenses of the marriage ceremony and the burden of his family. The economic chaos and mothers’ doubts about the future are among the main reasons that Pakistani men get married quite late in their life.
The second prevalent reason is the presence of unmarried sisters at home. It has become a tradition specifically in Pakistan that brothers have to wait for all sisters to get married before he brings a partner at home. No wonders if the son is the eldest in the progeny, here mom focuses on daughters for early marriages. As a result the son gradually travels from late boyhood to early manhood and sometimes to early forties before the miracle of marriage happens in his life.
As far as independent individuals are concerned; the matter is bit different here. The boys who become habitual of leading a free life do not like to get in the boundaries of marriage. They seek escape for taking any responsibility and enjoy the charm of their bachelor life. It is quite by chance in life that they realize quite late that they need a partner to spend their life.
A second case of the same group is the euphoria of idealism. Those who get high education and are fortunate enough to establish their careers consider themselves an ideal hence; search an ideal lady for them on the planet. When reaching at the borders of old age, they at last realize that their search should be over now before they leave the world.
Coming towards the female gender; it is observed that high rich families’ daughters get married very late in life. The reason is that their parents look for a man quite equal in status and smartness to their daughter and are not ready to compromise on any of their demanded trait.
Another major issue is of caste system. Parents agree to bring daughter of another caste in their family for their son but hesitate to marry their daughter to another caste system. As a result they wait for the last time if a proposal comes from the same caste.
Third reason is the fascination of the girls for the marriage and their life partner. They want the person equally rich, handsome, educated and rich at the same time. The findings of such a perfect match keep them waiting till late in life. This illusion often keeps them deprived of the marriage ritual and they reach at the stage where proposals stop coming and here their ideals break.
The reason of late marriages of girls in the rural areas and in the feudal’ families can be different. In a feudal family the property of land is inherent among daughters and sons. It is just out of greed that the male members of the family want their land restricted to their possession; thus daughters have to wait till a man is ready to marry them without their property.
Another major reason here is also equality in richness and status. It is considered an act of cowardice if one marries one’s daughter or sister in another family. This tradition is difficult to uproot as it has been the same since the system is born. This is one of the drawbacks among many others. Daughters of such families are often found insane in the last age.
Above mentioned reasons are few among many. These are common problems face by individuals in society either in one way or the other. This problem is certainly associated with the growing lust of materialism where everyone is busy in utilizing present to save the future. Ironically when the future comes one is too tired to enjoy.
Islam has emphasized not to delay the marriages late in life. The conduct of this surely brings peace, serenity and moral satisfaction with the culmination of doubts and existentialism. A marriage at proper age keeps the individuals engaged in the compact stream of life. Thus late marriages have become one among other dilemmas of modern age.
By: Ammarah Khan
